also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
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