k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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