so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
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