Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I think my fart just growled at me.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I believe in your delicious
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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