oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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