He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
