It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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