We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
