THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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