What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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