they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
