God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
