dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize