What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Is her dick bigger than yours?
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
