Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize