John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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