I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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