You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
