I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
