Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
