I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
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