Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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