By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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