we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
don't judge my taste in strippers
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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