Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize
