You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
it was like having sex with a tree stump
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
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