So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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