Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
