so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
