I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
