Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
At least life still wants to fuck me.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
