I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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