I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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