It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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