people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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