the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
