Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
