I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
my liver is dry heaving
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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