It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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