these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
