He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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