On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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