Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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