I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
