you guys were way drunker than both of me
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
