the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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