I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
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