I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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