What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
