Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize