It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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