you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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