your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
