Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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