I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
