We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
