Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Can I color on your dick again?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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