Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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