I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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