I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
