we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
