If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
