Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
