"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
