My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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